Why Adoption

(This post began as a reply to a friend asking why we want to adopt Shelby. This was my reply.)

Although this statement differs from my typical political opinion, this situation [the desire to legally adopt Shelby] gives me a broader appreciation for those seeking same-sex marriage.

For those who have separated themselves from the politics of gay activism, it is a matter of legally recognized commitment. Katrin and I encountered this while visiting our friends Peter and Dean. During the brief window same-sex marriage was legal in California they chose to marry. They are firmly devoted to one another and were celebrating 15 years together. Their love for each other is obvious and the decision to marry was a confirmation of their commitment to one another. In contrast, their friends Bob and Greg fought very hard against Proposition 8, yet completely reject the idea of marriage. In fact, Bob continuously told them, and continue to tell them, that he doesn't understand why they married. For Peter and Dean it was about their relationship, for Bob and Greg it was about politics.

With this said, why do Katrin and I continue to pursue legal adoption of Shelby even though she is an adult? Because we are a family and want it to be legally recognized. We could draw up a will and name her as Executor, sign limited powers of attorney allowing her to make decisions on our behalf if we are infirmed, but that's not family. Shelby has completed our family. She has opened chambers of my heart I didn't know existed, taught me more patience, and helped me become less selfish. Shelby has been a blessing from God and we love her beyond measure. The legal adoption may seem unnecessary, but to us, it's simply a necessity.

So, has this dichotomy changed my opinion? The laws of this state currently allow for adult adoption and I am thankful for this option. I don't know if I would become an activist if it was not allowed, but I would fight against any group who tried to take this option away from me or anyone else. Adoption is allowed as it is in the best interest of children and families.

Currently same-sex marriage is not allowed. I do continue to believe that marriage is a gift from God bestowed upon a man and a woman. This is why I reject the argument that, "gays are not allowed to marry." No, any man or woman in the U.S. can marry, just not a person of the same sex. Our laws also do not allow plural marriage, marriage between adults and children, marriage to animals, or marriage to objects. The continued deviation of law to bow to very small minorities of the public is a dangerous policy. But with this said, I would not want to take away the legal marriage Peter and Dean share. I would not campaign for same-sex marriage, yet I would not support any group actively fighting against it. I do not know how I would vote if such a proposition was introduced, but I would support the law if the majority voted in favor.