The Myth of Childhood Obesity: Is Michelle Obama Hurting Children’s Ability to Learn

 I grew up on the traditional sack lunch; peanut butter and jelly sandwich, chips, a banana, thermos of chocolate milk, and dessert.  Due to my Dad working in the grocery business, we sometimes got samples, overstock items, and out-of-date products.  This meant my lunch sack often had a couple of Space Food Sticks included for good measure.

"Good enough for an astronaut, good enough for my son."

It was great!

Eat with friends in the cafeteria as quickly as possible – then run outside to squeeze every last minute out of the long recess.  The monotony of the school day broken up with tag, wrestling with friends, playing marbles, and exploring every square inch of the school yard.  

"Trusted at birth since, well, Eden."

Mom knew best.

She packed us just the right amount of energy to cast off the sleepy morning and fire us up for a long afternoon.

Now, under the auspices of the oxymoronically named Hunger-Free Kids Act, Michelle Obama has decided she is the only mother who knows how to feed children.  Schools accepting Federal funding for their school lunch program must adhere to the new regulations.  Prior to the implementation of HFKA, school cafeterias provided a minimum of 825 calories per lunch.  The regulation mandates that high school children are now served a MAXIMUM of 750 to 850 calories.  Elementary students receive a maximum of 700 calories.

"Umm, yeah.  This is gross, can I have a burger?"

“Hot lunch”, as we referred to school lunch, was always a crap shoot as to if we’d eat it.  The new regulations now make the former lunches seem like a scrumptious buffet.  Where kids once could eat French Fries, Michelle’s regulations now mandate Jicama, Green Pepper Strips, half a Kiwi, and Low-Fat Ranch “Dip”.  There should be no questions as to why $4 million A DAY is discarded in school cafeterias.  Even non-picky eaters have a problem with the food choices.

"Actual list of crap kids won't eat."

C’mon, Low-Fat Ranch “Dip”?  Low-Fat Ranch tastes like thickened skim milk flavored with old gym socks.

So, does Michelle Obama love your children so much more than you that she needed to put the Nation on a diet? 

She claims this had to be done due to the “childhood obesity epidemic” plaguing American kids.  Irresponsible parents have turned out a generation of Augustus Gloop’s from Willie Wonka.  Fat little children gorging themselves on butter and sugar until they have Type-II Diabetes and need a triple bypass by the age of twelve.

"I am a stereotype based upon a book by which Michelle Obama
stereotyped all children as fat gluttons."

By all reports, Michelle Obama received a Law Degree – she did not minor in nutrition.  So all of this was forced upon schools based upon her . . . opinion.

Let’s address some facts:

According to the National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey conducted by the CDC, the obesity rate among children PLUMMETED 43% over the past ten years.  This occurred prior to the implementation of Hunger-Free Kids Act. 

According to Kids & Nutrition, the average 9 to 13 year old girl needs 1800 to 2200 calories per day.  Boys in the same age range require 2000 to 2600 per day.  Teenagers between 14 and 18 can require up to 3,500 calories per day depending upon their activity level.

Children are growing.  They require more energy simply because their bodies are developing and maturing.  Puberty brings on growing bones for height and build.  Muscle mass increases in boys while girls begin maturing into women.  Their bodies require food to grow.

Michelle Obama’s mandate only provides children with 30% of the calories they need just to maintain a normal level of activity.  Kids involved in physical activity are only receiving 23% of the calories they require.  And this is only if the kids eat every item they are served – regardless of how gross, disgusting, or vile.  Based upon the amount of food thrown out daily we can assume the average calories consumed are much less than the maximum of 825.

Now, consider breakfast.  A teen will burn between 300 and 400 calories while sleeping.  Growing bodies would rather sleep as long as possible rather than wake up to a big, nutritious breakfast.  Kids will grab what’s fast.  A REALLY big bowl of cold cereal with milk has about 500 to 560 calories, and an Egg McMuffin only has 300 calories.  This means many kids arrive at the cafeteria with a calorie deficit.  

"Actually, a pretty good way to start a morning.  And kids will EAT IT!"

Kids, particularly teens, can be moody, grumpy and emotional for no apparent reason.  They are continually learning to interact with others, their body may hurt from growing pains, and hormones are flooding their brains and bodies.

For kids, surviving a day can be difficult enough without low blood sugar.  Reduced calories and food they don’t like can make them extremely irritable and not open to learning.  Tired, hungry and hormonal – kids are doing their best not to beat the crap out of each other.  They’re emotional ticking time bombs when they’re hungry.  Not the best foundation for productive learning.

"I'm sorry you're hungry.  But Michelle Obama said it's
against the law for my to give you a Snickers Bar."

It doesn't take a village, it takes parents.  Parents have been feeding children for millennia before Michelle Obama got involved . . . and did just fine.  Because what kids need in order to learn is food – not a lecture.

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The Difference Between Presidents

I can't take credit for the following article.  It came from a forwarded email and the original author's name has been lost in a long progression of cut-and-paste.  But let me begin with a forward recounting a story about President George H.W. Bush.

In August 1990, a Utah-based consultant was invited to meet with President George H.W. Bush at the family property in Kennebunkport, ME.  The consultant was invited to bring his wife and their children.  Upon arrival the family was escorted to the swimming pool where President Bush was enjoying an iced tea while awaiting his guests.  Following a plane trip and long car ride to Kennebunkport the children were antsy.  President Bush and the First Lady invited them to change into their swimming suits and jump in the pool.  The children were excited to swim, with the exception of the couple's 5-year-old daughter who tugged at the President's pant leg and whispered in his ear.  President Bush replied,

"It's through that door, down the hallway, second door on the . . ."

As the President looked into the child's face he could see her confusion, frustration, and the dancing from foot-to-foot.

"Oh, nevermind."  Said the President as he took the girl's hand and gave her a warm smile, "I'll show you where it is."  As he led her to the bathroom in the residence.

 This to me is an illustration of people who recognize the Presidency is to serve the People of the United States, not to be served by them.  Unfortunately the following excerpts from Kessler's book will show Democrats in the White House saw themselves as royalty without regard for the People, while Republicans held office out of a love of Country and a respect for its People.

A final note:  when coins were to be minted for the fledgling United States of America samples were brought to President George Washington.  Those which bore his likeness were summarily dismissed by Washington with the admonition, "Do not put my face upon the coins of This Nation.  I am not a king."

President John Kennedy (D)

"A philanderer of the highest order."

"She [Jacqueline Kennedy] ordered the kitchen help to save all the left-over wine during a State dinner, mixed it with fresh wine and served again during the next White House occasion."

President Lyndon Johnson (D)

"It's good for him.  And, if you've ever followed dogs, you like to hear them yelp."
 -- Actual quote from LBJ.

"Another philanderer of the highest order. In addition, LBJ was as crude as the day is long. Both JFK and LBJ kept a lot of women in the White House for extramarital affairs and both had set up early warning systems to alert them if/when their wives were nearby. Both were promiscuous and oversexed men."

"She was either naive or just pretended to not know about her husband's many liaisons."

Lyndon Baines Johnson could be extremely abusive to his aides, even to the Secret Service officers sworn to defend him with their lives. Once, while driving across a field at the LBJ Ranch in Texas, Johnson stopped to
relieve himself. According to one historian,

"One of the Secret Service men standing near him 'felt warm water on his leg.' He looked down and said, 'Mr. President, you are urinating on me.'  Johnson's response, 'I know I am... it's my prerogative.'" 

President Richard Nixon (R)

"A 'moral' man but very odd, weird, [and]  paranoid.  He had a horrible relationship with his family and was almost a recluse."

"She [Pat Nixon] was quiet most of the time."

Gerald Ford (R)

"A true gentlemen who treated the Secret Service with respect and dignity. He had a great sense of humor."

"She [Betty Ford] drank a lot!"

James Earl "Jimmy" Carter (D)

"A complete phony who would portray one picture of himself to public and very different in private: e.g., would be shown carrying his own luggage but the suitcases were always empty.  He kept empty ones just for photo ops.  He wanted people to see him as pious and a non-drinker but he and his family drank alcohol a lot!  He had disdain for the Secret Service and was very irresponsible with the "football" [carrying] nuclear codes.  He didn't think it was a big deal and would keep military aides at a great distance.  Often did not acknowledge the presence of Secret Service personnel assigned to serve him."

"She [Rosalyn] mostly did her own thing."

Ronald Reagan (R)

"The real deal, moral, honest, respectful and dignified. They treated Secret Service and everyone else with respect and honor, thanked everyone all the time. He took the time to know everyone on a personal level. One favorite story was early in his Presidency when he came out of his room with a pistol tucked on his hip. The agent in charge asked: "Why the pistol, Mr. President?" He replied, "In case you boys can't get the job done, I can help." It was common for him to carry a pistol. When he met with Gorbachev, he had a pistol in his briefcase."

"She [Nancy] was very nice but very protective of the President and the Secret Service was often caught in the middle. She tried hard to control what he ate. He would say to the agent, "Come on, you gotta help me out." The Reagans drank wine during State dinners and special occasions only otherwise they shunned alcohol. The Secret Service could count on one hand the times they were served wine during family dinner. For all the fake bluster of the Carters, the Reagans were the ones who lived life as genuinely moral people."

George H.W. Bush (R)

"Extremely kind and considerate, always respectful. Took great care in making sure the agents' comforts were taken care of. They even brought them meals. One time she brought warm clothes to agents standing outside at Kennebunkport.  One was given a warm hat and, when he tried to say, "No thanks," even though he was obviously freezing, the President said "Son, don't argue with the First Lady. Put the hat on."  He was the most prompt of the Presidents.  He ran the White House like a well-oiled machine."

"She [Barbara] ruled the house and spoke her mind."

William Jefferson "Bill" Clinton (D)

"Presidency was one giant party.   Not trustworthy.  He was nice mainly because he wanted everyone to like him but to him life is just one big game and party.  Everyone knows about his sexuality."

"She is another phony. Her personality would change the instant cameras were near. She hated with open disdain the military and Secret Service. She was another who felt people were there to serve her. She was always trying to keep tabs on Bill Clinton."

One [Secret Service] agent, who politely explained to Mrs. Clinton that his duties did not include toting suitcases from their airplane to their limo, was shocked when she replied, "If you want to remain on this detail," get your fucking ass over here and grab those bags."

Bonus:  Albert "Al" Gore (D), Bill Clinton's Vice President

"An egotistical ass who was once overheard [by his Secret Service detail] lecturing his son that he needed to, 'Do better in school or he would end up like these guys.', pointing to the agents."

George W. Bush (R)

"The Secret Service loved him and Laura Bush. He was also the most physically in shape who had a very strict workout regimen. The Bushes made sure their entire administrative and household staff understood that they were to respect and be considerate of the Secret Service."

"She was one of the nicest First Ladies, if not the nicest. She never had any harsh word to say about anyone."

Barack Hussein Obama (D)

"Clinton all over again - hates the military and looks down on the Secret Service.  He is egotistical and cunning.  He looks you in the eye and appears to agree with you but turns around and does the opposite. He has temper tantrums."

"She [Michelle] is a complete bitch who basically hates anybody who is not black, hates the military and looks at the Secret Service as servants."

 I have no dog in this fight, but I appreciate a great book.  You can find Ronald Kessler's book here.

Another good read is Jack Valenti's This Time, This Place about his rise from local marketing in Texas for Lyndon Johnson to his establishment of the MPAA.  You can purchase it here.

My Two Best Jobs Ever

"Hardest job you'll ever love."

Allow me to begin by saying I have had my share of jobs.  I have only been fired once – but I deserved it.  At my first job I washed dishes . . . very slowly.  I was thorough, but typically the last person in the restaurant.  The manager must have finished a bottle of wine and a pack of Benson & Hedges Menthol 100 Ultralights waiting for me to finish in the dish room.  Not that I ever stopped moving, I just moved at my own pace – which was much slower than Paul would have liked.

He did me a favor and fired me.

This gave my mother reason to send me kicking and screaming onto an airplane to pick pineapples.  This would be the hardest job I ever worked and the one I loved the most.  It wasn’t that the job was immensely satisfying – it was hot, dirty, grueling field labor.  It was that the job taught me the importance of meeting deadlines, hard work, and valuing your co-workers and their contributions to a team effort.  If one picker fell behind, we all fell behind.  If a co-worker got behind we worked as a team to get them caught up and keep them caught up.  We cheered for every truck we filled and moaned when another was backed in place.

"My brothers from A LOT of different mothers."

We ate as a team, worked as a team, played as a team, and fought as a team.  It wasn’t that we were the best of friends at all times, but we were always a team.  Like brothers, we could fight among ourselves until someone was bloody and crying – but God forbid if anyone else messed with a member of the team.  We circled the wagons and gave the aggressor a thrashing.  The team member may have been a moron, but they were OUR moron.

The hard work gave over to boredom.  Instead of dreading another truck, we cheered its arrival.  Without intent, we nearly set a record for the number of trucks filled in an 8-hour shift.  We sang songs, told stories about home and girls, and made up fiction on the spot for the amusement of the team.

As a team we accomplished more than was possible alone.  These accomplishments would never be recognized by anyone outside of other pickers.  (For months after my return I would pick up a can of pineapple and say, “I might have picked the fruit in this can.”)  But as a team we picked over 100 tons of pineapple every day. 

"Maui Land & Pine, No Ka Oi."

I felt a responsibility to my employer, Maui Land & Pine, to get every piece of fruit into the truck.  A forgotten pineapple was a loss to the company.  I learned to be thorough AND fast in getting a job done.  This feeling of responsibility led me to track down my parents on vacation to beg their permission to allow me to stay an extra month.  This would cut into the beginning of school, but it was necessary.  A wet spring had delayed the ripening of several thousand acres of pineapple and without volunteers willing to stay the fruit would spoil and ML&P would lose millions in revenue.  When my mother came to the phone, breathlessly concerned I had been in an accident, I asked if I could stay longer.  Surprised, she asked, “Why?  I thought you hate it there?”  I explained, “The fruit has got to be picked and it’s my responsibility.”  This may have been the moment she realized that I had learned why she sent me to pick pineapple.  She granted permission and I was grateful she allowed me to finish the job I had started.

The lessons of teamwork, hard work, and a sense of personal accomplishment can be traced to my extended summer on Maui.  I returned as a man who could accomplish anything if I worked hard.

Thanks Mom.

#hardwork #mauilandandpine #thanksmom #bestcareertrainingever

Can We Please Stop Freaking Children Out?!

I'll just wait here until the bombs stop dropping.

According to an article in The Globe And Mail, youth anxiety is on the rise (http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/health-and-fitness/health/youth-anxiety-on-the-rise-amid-changing-climate/article18372258/).  They attribute this to global warming.

Well then . . .

LET'S STOP FILLING KIDS HEADS WITH BULLS**T!

I grew up at the end of the Cold War and the beginning of "Global Ice Age".  When I entered first grade I participated in nuclear bomb drills and hid under my desk.  Two nice ladies came to our class and explained there was an bomb shelter in the basement and our teachers would stay with us until our parents came to pick us up.  We were told we'd be okay as there was food (a highly nutritious, 800-calorie cracker) and water.  We were given the survival crackers to try and explained how we'd be able to play with our friends.

Of course, why this was going on the USSR would be dropping mega-tons of warheads upon Salt Lake as we were home to several companies vital to the U.S. missile programs.  I knew this information -- it freaked me the hell out!

In second grade, it was never mentioned again.  Although the Cold War was still on-going, our bomb drills stopped.  In 1973 we dismissed drills and Dick and Jane books.  They were replaced by the Scott Foreman Reading Systems and the Arab Oil Embargo.

Oil embargo you ask?  This was the Arab states retaliation against the United States for supporting Israel after the Arab states attacked during Yom Kippur.  You know, like Mexico and Canada attacking the U.S. on Christmas.  Suddenly gas prices jumped and you could only fill your car based upon your license plate and odd-and-even days.  No stress at all.

A plot to make me wet the bed.

Then CBS (God bless'em) decided children couldn't simply spend Saturday mornings watching cartoons and eating Cap'n Crunch.  We had to spend our weekends being freaked out about the end of the World.

Ark-II was brilliant program about an intelligent, talking chimpanzee guiding three teenagers through a wasteland that had been the United States in a tricked-out Winnebago.  This group, armed with a jet-pack and a Tandy computer were going to save us from a complete Road Warrior horror show.  Thanks kids . . . and monkey!

This started my active hobby of collecting pocket knives.  Of all kinds.  Any I could get.  Because society was going to breakdown and anyone with a knife could hunt, fish, build a shelter, and stab random hobos who wanted to steal your shit.  A pocket knife meant life.

Thanks Time.  I had run out of reasons to piss my pants.

So Time Magazine decided to continue the pig-pile of making people bat-shit crazy by running the above headlines.  The disco-era adults got to dance, drink, do drugs, and screw to alleviate their stress.  We pre-pubescents had to suck it up.

We played tag, hide-and-seek, rode our bikes and walked to the drug store for penny candy.  Our activity was the only escape.  Of course, we still built our "forts" as a place to hide.  Actually, we dug a deep hole in a vacant field and covered it with stolen lumber.  We hid with copies of Playboy and tried not to think about all the crap that would kill us.  No wonder some of my most vivid nightmares occurred before I was twelve.  I can still remember them -- and they still freak me out.

Fortunately, this was before the "Stranger Danger" era.  They would have been pumping me full of Ritalin and Thorazine.

Do kids a favor . . .

AND SHUT THE HELL UP!